Forum: empire-en

Board: [942] US Migration Content - Community

Topic: [295979] Anyone got any good Jokes?

[4418268] LegendaryGavy (US1) [None] :: May 15, 2016, 10:22 p.m.

Have you ever tried boredom before?

[4420214] Sir Wins Alot (US1) [None] :: May 17, 2016, 7:13 p.m.

Q:  What did the EGG say to the boiling water?
A:    "I just got LAID  and you expect me to get hard ? " 


Q:  How do you make HOLY water ?
A. Ya boil the HELL out of it . 

[4422392] Revolc (GB1) [None] :: May 18, 2016, 11:22 p.m.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

[4423483] Revolc (GB1) [None] :: May 19, 2016, 9:37 p.m.

Another one:-

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."

[4424016] Sir Wins Alot (US1) [None] :: May 20, 2016, 1:04 p.m.

1.  We make "Peanut Oil"  out of peanuts.
2.  We make "Olive oil"  out of olives.
3.  We make  "Corn oil"  out of corn.

um... what the heck is "Baby Oil" made out of?  Gulp...  Oo

[4424077] MammaWolf (US1) [US1] :: May 20, 2016, 2:44 p.m.

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up 2 fingers, and says, "5 beers please."

[4424890] Sir Wins Alot (US1) [None] :: May 21, 2016, 11:25 a.m.

Q: Have you heard about the Arkansas Lottery?

A: When you win.... you get $ 1.00   a day for   1 million days!!  Oo

[4428933] Revolc (GB1) [None] :: May 23, 2016, 4:49 p.m.

My favourite:

GGE did an update and there were no bugs.

[4428965] Tampabayz28 (US1) [None] :: May 23, 2016, 4:58 p.m.

*Knock knock*
"Wer ist da?"
Das Waffen-SS!

[4429077] Sir Wins Alot (US1) [None] :: May 23, 2016, 5:34 p.m.

[4430869] the1winner1 (US1) [None] :: May 25, 2016, 1:57 a.m.

hope this is good:

Don't judge a person until u have walked in his shoes for a mile , than don't care u are a mile away already and u have his shoes! 

[4493542] Sir Wins Alot (US1) [None] :: July 18, 2016, 3:59 a.m.

Q: Why is it dangerous to date a female bank teller?

A: Severe penalties for early withdraws... Gulp.. Oo

[4578603] LION CLARKSON (US1) (Banned) [None] :: Oct. 5, 2016, 4:06 p.m.

I entered the club. i saw a woman 69 y/o. she was drinking beer. i told her : isn't that bad for your health lady. she replied: i had 3 doctors telling me that and they all died before me.

[4579325] Sir Wins Alot (US1) [None] :: Oct. 5, 2016, 8:59 p.m.

I once was more frustrated then.............

• A midget with a yo-yo...... 
  
• A mosquito  in a Manichean factory....
• An Ethiopian,  with no legs, watching a doughnut roll down a hill.......
• A gay man, with lock-jaw, on Valentines Day!!  Oo
  

[4579436] backstop (US1) [None] :: Oct. 6, 2016, 12:06 a.m.

  GGE gave every player in the top 20 alliances in the recent alliance tourney 1400 free horror troops in awards. Those were used to beat down alliances rank 200 to 300 lower than themselves haha. you can scrap that format it is a JOKE!

[4585602] PizzaWarrior5 (US1) (Banned) [None] :: Oct. 9, 2016, 12:38 p.m.

backstop (US1) said:

  GGE gave every player in the top 20 alliances in the recent alliance tourney 1400 free horror troops in awards. Those were used to beat down alliances rank 200 to 300 lower than themselves haha. you can scrap that format it is a JOKE!

Ok I'll do it

GGS is Stupid

[4586509] The1_Mark (US1) [US1] :: Oct. 10, 2016, 5:37 a.m.

KON.  

[4586518] The Carnifex (US1) [US1] :: Oct. 10, 2016, 6:28 a.m.

Curtains

[4587213] Sir Wins Alot (US1) [None] :: Oct. 10, 2016, 5:39 p.m.

Deadly (US1) said:

10 yrs from now, people will care that you farmed pixels on GGE.

EDIT: What is your definition of a "good" joke?

ROFL!!  I like that one Deadly....to bad your leaving...you can be funny and witty at times.... "shrug"

[4587246] Sir Wins Alot (US1) [None] :: Oct. 10, 2016, 6:08 p.m.

Bill Clinton is ask to come out on to the center field for the New York Yankees.
As he is heading out to the pitchers mound, he drags Hillary behind him by her hair .
When he arrives at the mound, one of his secrete service men whisper something in his ear.
Bill Clinton then replies : " Oh...............you said to throw out the first Pitch!!"